Of course I'm going to San Diego today!

just as planned... i'll be heading straight to SAN for a quick 35 minute trip. notsomuch.

let me begin my first chatter_flow write-up by saying my trip (obviously) started off quite well. it was last night that got me bugged this morning and out of sorts. whenever i have work trips that are about to end, i get all whacked out about leaving in the morning. i'm not sure when the day will come that i realize i cannot take morning flights! hello. seriously. helllloooo.

now, it's true that i am late for every flight i take - and every flight i've ever taken (unless i'm forced into a pre-45 minute arrival by an anxious relative... please).

let me describe (in great detail....):

10p, May 21, 2008 - decided it's better to sleep in next day, will call united/travel agency in AM to discuss alternate options of travel.

7.35a, May 22, 2008 - don't want to get up... am so glad flight will be changed. of course i can't make one at 10.30! that's nutty, i mean, who could get themselves together in three hours?

8.00a - decide i want to leave phoenix. i've been away from home for a week and a half and need to do nothing in my lovely room. must write emails first.

8.03a - don't want to go as there are clothes all over the room, bathroom, (walk-in!) closet... arrange a new flight with Fred which happens to be FIVE hours after my pre-arranged flight.

8.45a - have realized i've waisted no less than 45 minutes (give or take) on emails and music arranging on itunes... quite important given the circumstances, to be sure.

8.46a - call Fred and request original flight... have already paid money to confirm stand-by.

9.03a - panic. start to pack. frenzy sets in as time flies by. why doesn't it all fit!? eventually, after subtle throws of oneself on suitcase in (walk-in!) closet, zipper goes. wild-woman run around room ensues... ensuring all but my bridesmaid roses are ready to go.

9.35a - call bell desk and arrange a car to pick me up from my room. stupid computer will not shut down but before throwing it onto the patio, decide to just do a hard stop. we'll deal with that later! knock on the door, car is here... hallelujah! no hotel receipt is needed, they can email it. i'm going to make it as united has always been the most accommodating airline...

9.56a - think again. i've missed the 45 minute window and, thusly, my flight. crap in the toilet. that's what it felt like. daaaaangit! ronnie at the sky cap explains my options, like i don't ever fly... pay for car, credit card won't work. i have no cash. i'm so glad i'm paid to be a planner.

10.07a - reality sets in. i've missed the flight. go talk to stephanie about my options, as though i'm in the hospital talking about treatment decisions. stephanie has 'tude with me and i wonder if, by 10a, stephanie has had a bad day. then i realize she just works for united.

10.11a - next united flight is at 3.21p... ah, yes! that one i was supposed to be on in the second place. get real. i've been overzealous and am already at the airport. i'm flying out NOW!

10.17a - board shuttle bus to pop two terminals down to go to us airways... i still want my stinking united miles! sweet sauce - southwest is here and they're cheap. not that it matters... the biz will pick my faux pas up.

10.23a - arrive in terminal four. am hit with thought about discussing current situation with mother, harsh opponent to my airline arrival decisions. go through monologue about how irresponsible it is to miss flights and not plan, waste of money, time, yadda yadda yadda. decide to not tell mother unless abosolutely necessary.

10.35a - still in line at southwest. really?! call courtney. clothes are still in monica's wash in north carolina - it's been a week. they're rotten. discusting. we'll need to figure something out as no one wants to return from a honeymoon to wet, smelly clothes. will email michelle upon arrival in SF.

10.39a - my turn! boy, is girl at southwest so much nicer. too bad i can't remember HER name to save my life. discuss options again - apparently i needed a second opinion. flight going to san jose (note: not san francisco) leaving in less than an hour. have layover. no biggie, i'll take it. stupid system won't sell the ticket in short time period. crap in the toilet.

10.41a - will take flight to SFO via san diego leaving hour even later. 12.30p it is. i'll take it! credit card will not work. cursing plastic and all other fiascos happening today. boy comes over and brags about his ability to make it work. it works. i proceed to pet his is ego by saying what a hand he has at these sorts of things... fantastic!

10.47a - have officialy purchased first ticket at the counter for a flight taking off same day, noticing it was quite cheap given the circumstances.

10.54a - am finalized but wonder if us airways had something better. of course they did, i just didn't ask. i deserve my two hour flight to home to last circa four hours... which means i could be going to new york. decide not to think about it.

10.55a - want to throw two large books in my possession away... they have been nothing but a bother for the past week. feel it's better to keep them as one was a gift, the other is kristi's and she probably wants it back.

10.57a - through security without incident! am not hungry but there is food around. since i'm feeling sorry for myself i decide i'm depressed and therefore more than deserve wendy's. buy chicken meal with copious amounts of "stuff" in my hands - girl too quick for me and so i must grab it all and scuffle to the side.

10.59a - am in depression and need to get soda instead of something healthy... mr. pibb it is. wonder what it'll be like since i haven't had it since the tenth grade. can't find a top. locate all of my accessories including top and straw are directly in front of my face.

11.00a - where is my ticket. WHERE IS MY GOSH FORSAKEN TICKET!? have lost said ticket... panic ensues. if only that girl hadn't been so hasty! push people out of line to realize ticket is not on counter by hasty chick. decide to sit down at gate and figure this all out.

11.03a - walk with "stuff" circling my neck and arms - including two ridiculous books - wondering whether i'm going to make this flight. is someone going to be me? this mr. pibb is as good as remembered.

11.05a - ticket found! it was only upside down in my little holder. well of course that's where it would be.

11.06a - time to write-up experience as though a real-life autobiographist...

11.11a - mother calls to find out about travel plans. act as though i was always coming in at a quarter to four in the afternoon and don't know where she got 1.15p from. we'll attack this "miscommunication" head on upon my arrival home. oh yes! we'll see you soon... can't wait!

11.54a - realize that my wendy's, which i was never hungry for, is now cold and soggy on chair beside me. fries do not = mcdonalds'... dissapointing but not surprising.

11.55a - will rent movie on itunes... my treat to me! there will be blood it is. "i'll DRINK your milkshake! i drink it up!". i just can't wait. i've been through a day... and, according to me, deserve the most irresponsible travel award. i'm sure debs will concure as soon as we discuss my antics... which is nothing new and nothing less than typical...

12.05p - there will be blood not available for rental. atonement? do i want to be depressed even more than i am? yes. but maybe dan in real life? oh my...

12.06p - boarding has begun. how does southwest work? do i have a seat? who cares... i'm going to san diego today!

12.09p - wonder how this could all happen in five hours. it's really only noon? there must be more to come...